I’m single because I was born that way. —Mae West
If you’re fixated on being part of a couple, here are some reasons to savor your singleness.
Ignore the naysayers. In a couple-driven consumer marketing society, you’re bound to come across people who wonder why you’re single, as if the ultimate goal in life is to pair up with another human being and cling to that ideal as if your life depends on it. They might even imply that something is “wrong” with you if you’re single. Brace yourself for that kind of ignorance. Remember that you don’t have to defend your right for being single, just like it’s rude to attack the validity of someone’s relationship. Just say “I prefer being single” and change the subject or mention that statistics show that 1/2 of all people are single.Ad
Focus on friendship. Being single doesn’t have to mean being lonely. When you’re single, you have more time to do a variety of things, all of which are opportunities to forge new friendships. Even if you’re an introvert, this can be an excellent time to nurture your extroverted side. But social butterflies can grapple with loneliness too. Make it a priority in your life to create meaningful friendships and enrich your existing ones.
- Learn How to Talk to Strangers. Or, if you’re already good at that, how aboutHow to Hug a Stranger?
- Practice communication skills that improve and deepen friendships: How to Be a Good Listener and How to Practice Nonviolent Communication.
- Get better at dealing with difficult people. Read How to Cultivate Compassion in Your Life and How to Deal With Impossible People and who knows? You might find a friend where you previously only found frustration.
- Be Optimistic. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, you want to be happy. Research shows that the number one ingredient for happiness, by far, is optimism.
Enjoy your freedom. Everybody has radical little fantasies…and the chances of pairing up with someone who shares such a fantasy with equal fervor is not something to hold your breath for. So what are you waiting for? Find some people who have the same idea, or just go for it alone, and you’ll meet like-minded people along the way.
- How to Start Living in a Tiny House – Much more easily done when you live by yourself!
- Camp As a Lifestyle – Not easy to do if you have a significant other who isn’t as enthused about the outdoors as you are.
- How to Travel on a Very Limited Budget – Radical ideas for shoestring travel.
- Become a Hobo – Not something that’s easy to pull off if you’re in a relationship with someone whose location is fixed.
- Grow Your Own Food – This takes up a lot of your time, and is ridiculously hard to pull off in a relationship if your partner isn’t as passionate about it as you are. However, it’s a good activity to try.
Appreciate the absence of compromise. Classic relationship advice dictates that compromise, sacrifice are essential to a healthy relationship. Perhaps if you’ve been in a relationship before, you realize how much stuff you had to give up in order to make that relationship work. Or maybe you forgot about that stuff, because you’re focused on the things you miss. Well, this is a good time to shift that focus. If you’re a slob, isn’t it great to be able to leave your stufflaying around, without anybodyminding? If you’re a neat freak, isn’t it wonderful to be able to organize everything, and find it the way you left it? Isn’t it nice to be able to cook and eat and enjoy foods that a partner might be averse to? Isn’t it cool to be able to go out spontaneously, without wondering whether your partner can or should be invited? A relationship can add many good things to your life, but it also adds some rigidity, so take the time to appreciate your current flexibility.
Cherish the excitement. Relationships tend to come along with planning–for example, you can’t just accept a job across the country without touching base with your significant other. And generally, if you’re in it for the long haul, you’ll likely talk about what you’ll be doing years from now. But when you’re single, the future is completely open. Today you’re at your desk, and a year from now you might be camping in Alaska. Right now you’re single, but tomorrow you might meet your soul-mate. Who knows? Fantasize. Be spontaneous. Be bold.
Being married is a “lifestyle choice” and not a “requirement.” Therefore, being single is a “lifestyle choice” and not a “default option.” It is possible to CHOOSE to be single. There are advantages to being single just as there are disadvantages to being married, such as loss of personal freedom, having to compromise, etc. Conversely, there are advantages to being single, as well as disadvantages. Whether one is married or single is nothing more than a lifestyle choice.