Would you not marry someone you love just because you do not want to get involved with his family?

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I have read that in the past that some women suicide because of the relationship they have with the mother-in-law or sister-in-law. Would you not marry someone you love just because you do not want to get involved with his family? It is a question to wonder. Is it worth your energy? What if you know that when you marry him you have to deal with all the criticism from the way you dress, from what you bring, from what you behave. What if you already know that his father gets angry with small thing and his sister have things to say about every little thing about everyone. Is it really worth committing your life to? In Japanese culture, it is uncommon for the couple to marry without parents consent or at least some kind of meeting because marriage is not just about a couple alone but of family uniting together. This old fashion thinking is still true and I am pretty sure it is the core idea of marriage in other countries.  Is it okay to for the couple to ignore family and just get married? It happens but I find it difficult to just ignore both families and live our life away from our family. I grew up spending lots of time with my cousins and lived some years with my grandparents and for me family and extended family is important to me. My aunt had mentioned to me that marriage is not really about you and the other but of family so when you choose someone to marry be aware of not the quality of the person you are marry but how his family is. Success to good marriage as she mentioned is about being able to have a good relationship with the family. I often didn’t want to agree with idea because I always fell for the bad boy who my parents did not approve but now that I am actually at the point where I am facing marriage and a partner and a family that I will be part of the rest of my life, it makes me wonder if my aunt is right. I surely feel that I care about both family’s point of view. It makes me angry that both families do not feel the same way about planning our wedding. It makes me wonder about lots of things.

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Would you not marry someone you love just because you do not want to get involved with his family?

  1. ray says:

    Absolutely. I broke up with an old girlfriend because her family was crazy. I knew I didn’t NOT want her parents being the grandparents of MY children. Pulled the plug.

    Like

    • youbymyside says:

      Hi Ray,

      Long time no talk. Thanks for your input. It seems like M is having hard time with his dad and his family seem like they want to push M away… it makes me wonder how his family will be in future.

      Like

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