Japanese Way of Engagement

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I had a request from one of the readers about writing up on what the engagement process in Japan would be like. So here is something what I learned about the Japanese engagement from the wedding magazine.

1. Asking his parents permission.
– Man takes his girlfriend his home so he can intorudce her to his parents. It is interesting but in Japan, man usually only takes girlfriend to his parents only when they are in a serious relationship. Man then ask his parents for permission to marry.

2. Engagement
– This may come before men tell his parents but in Japanese tradition, saying “will you marry me?” will be the engagement not the gesture of a giving ring.

3. Asking Her Parents for Premission
– Boyfriend bring a box of sweets from departmet or a store to bring to her parents and ask for the permission to marry. This usually involve bowing down for both boyfriend and girlfriend to her parents.

4. Parents Meeting
– Parents of both parties meet for the first time usually in fancy restaurant or at hotel. At this meeting, ring is given to the woman. In return, man will recieve gift such as watch or suit that cost as much as the ring would had cost him. In the past, this ritual was “bride price” and it was not exactly gift exchange. This cusotm of gift exchange still remains in some families but for M and I, we will not do exchange but will have a get together with both families to have a meal.

How Japanese people go through with engagement may differ depending on the region or custom in the family and it may be affected by the social class and religion as well but generally, the engagement follows similar pattern.

Cinda Riker Downloads Defining Engagement: Japan and Global …

Defining Engagement: Japan and Global Contexts, 1640 – 1868: Hellyer Harvard East Asian Monographs | Harvard University Press The Harvard East Asian Monographs Series. Defining Engagement: Japan and Global 
John and Joanne, Tokyo Station – Tokyo Wedding Photography

Tokyo Wedding Photography Pre Wedding Photography. Tags: bridal, engagement, japan, japan wedding photography, photography, prewedding, tokyo wedding photography, videography, wedding. posted by admin · Tweet 
hughiaqv Defining Engagement: Japan and Global Contexts, 1640 …

Brett L. Defining Engagement: Japan and Global Contexts, 1640 – 1868 (Harvard East. and Western Medicine in Nineteenth†Century Japan. (Harvard East Asian Monographs). Defining Engagement: Japan and Global 
Preview – Kermit & Kaori’s wedding | Tokyo Wedding Photography …

earlier in the year – you can check them out here! Tokyo Wedding Photography. Tags: bridal, engagement, japan, japan wedding photography, photography, prewedding, tokyo wedding photography, videography, wedding.
Defining Engagement: Japan and Global Contexts 1640 – 1868 …

Defining Engagement: Japan and Global Contexts 1640 – 1868 Robert I. Hellyer Harvard University Asia Center. 26th July 2012 History Books 0 Comments. Robert I. Hellyer is Assistant Professor of History at Wake Forest University.

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4 thoughts on “Japanese Way of Engagement

  1. introvertnathan says:

    One of my students recently looked at my new watch and made a joke about me getting engaged. I asked him what he meant, but he couldn’t explain it very well with his limited English. That was quite an interesting post!

    Like

  2. ballerina95 says:

    Almost similar to ours 🙂 Thanks for the input. Traditions nowadays are no longer strictly followed. Younger people have simplified it. Which is good because it is less stress.

    Like

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