10 Parents Rules on Relationship

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Despite of the fact that I am old enough to know what I am doing, maybe because of culture but parents restrict my action that affect our relationship negative or positive.

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1. Curfew

I am not a high schooler but … getting home after 10 makes my parents extremely uncomfortable especially when I am with a man. Not that they do not trust M but it is just that they claim “proper lady” does not stay up all night with a man.

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2.  No Over Night Stay/Trip.

At our age, it is common for couples to have a trip with a partner. I mean.. even some highschooler go on a trip with their partner right? But it is no no for over night stay or a trip.

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3. Mandatory Parents Meeting.

So in my family, the rule is to for my partner to meet the PARENTS  if we are going out.  In Japanese culture, majority of the time meeting the parents mean marriage but rule of my family is quite different in the way that they have to meet the parents in order to date.

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4. Greeting

When parents meets, what parents look for is can he say the right thing at right time.  Like Thank You and using Keigo (polite way) .  In the past, my parents were various furious when one of my exes failed to say “Thank you” . Greeting is important to my parents.

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5. Table Manner

Parents often look for some way to criticize especially mine and parents often notice table manner. Parents often judge my partner through looking at a table manner. Can he use fork, spoon, knife properly. Can he eat without making noises.

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6. Respect Elder

As mentioned earlier in the section of greeting, for my parents, knowing if my partner can respect my parents as elder is quite important to them. Can he respect the parent’s rule ? Can he put my parent’s value before his interests? These things are important to the parents.

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7. Age

How old is he?! comes up often and interestingly in the past, my parents trust for the boyfriend seemed to increase when the man is older than me while when the man I am dating is younger parents are not as trusting.

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8.  Finance

Can you support our daughter financially? Well.. it seems to me that my parents began to be more realistic about financial situation of a guy because they know that I am willing to work as well but for a partner to have a stable job means quite a lot for my parents to make sure I will be okay.

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9. Caring

Is he caring? For the parents to know if the man is not upsetting me is pretty easy. They just have to count how many times I have been crying since I had a partner. I

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10. Love

Last and most of all, parents want to know we are in love, if we are happy.  Is love in the air?  Hand in hand with caring, my parents want to know that if we are happy together.

“Rule of relationship” | Laura Susanne Yochelson

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6 thoughts on “10 Parents Rules on Relationship

  1. the fox & the monkey says:

    I think this is a beautiful way of describing what role parents have in helping their child have a meaningful and long lasting relationship – to find love and to keep love. Yes it is a little old fashioned but life is so much easier, love is so much easier if your parents are supportive and not worried about the welfare of their child. I wish more of this happened. Great blog.


  2. Pingback: Meet the Parents

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